It is certainly not surprising that Mariam felt a sense of
guilt after discovering the body of her mother hanging from a tree. Mariam was all that
her Nana had, and when Nana discovered that her daughter had ventured down the hill for
her father's home in Herat, she knew that she might never return to her. Nana also felt
that Mariam was becoming too closely attached to Jalil, who she knew would eventually
let her down. Nana was fearful of being left alone, and she feared that Jalil would
break Mariam's heart, as he had done to her.
readability="7">
"Everything I endured for you! How dare you! How
dare you abandon me like this, you treacherous little
harami!"
Nana
warned Mariam that
readability="5">
"I'll die if you go... I'll swallow my tongue and
die. Don't leave me."
But
Mariam's desire to see the cartoon at the picture show, to meet her brothers and
sisters, and to be a bigger part of Jalil's life prevailed, and she went to see him.
Mariam also believed that it was Nana who had misjudged Jalil, and
that
readability="6">
You're afraid that I might find the
happiness you never had. And you don't want me to be
happy. You don't want a good life for me.
You're the one with the wretched
heart.
Mariam was
not completely wrong about her mother's motives, but she was wrong about Nana's strong
desire to die if she had to live without her daughter. After Nana's
death,
Mariam
could not find comfort in God's words... All she could do was cry and cry and let her
tears fall...
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